Holiday Season

Whoa this holiday season is way to fast! (Though this year's holiday season isn't for me because I'm having internship at a very 'angelic place'- haha) Youth camp is approaching. Christmas is coming.
It was a glimspe ever since this year started and how its gonna end.

There were many ups and downs this year and waves of emotion swept over me. Could not imagine myself going through the storms without Him- the One that stayed close to me. I began to realise why my theme for this year is "Grace- Living by His grace."

Honestly, I am not prepare for this holiday season and even not ready to enter to another. The spurring of excitement to decorate houses and tables with food, wrapping lovely gifts, Christmas shopping and so on but..

It is a very difficult and dark time to endure rather than enjoy. The daily battles that one has to fight- the familiar depression- things you suppress within you. Probably, the buried pain. Time that doesn't wait but goes on tickling.
In order for buried pain to we must first come to a place of total and complete surrender to God and His plan of healing, even if we cannot see or do not understand that plan. But in the midst of all, walls were constructed which no one can climb because it was too high, windows of our soul filled with emotional excuses in order to run away the dealings. We missed the point, we missed whar God truly want to do, we went too superficial in our walk with God. 

I was at a surface area of dealing with my emotions because i thought that keeping "darkness" was a treasure to me. Looking for the nearest exit was my answer. Answers were given to questions that were deep, hoping to bypass transparency. The smiling face covers it all- masks. 

But still, God was faithful and is faithful to me. Despite the sinking ship that I was falling with, He was holding on and staying with me by the shore. M still very excited this season. Excited to see God move powerfully in many lives!!! :)