RESTART

Nobody says, ‘Okay, you’re going to enter this strange world of first-in-class and best-in-studies, this strange world of looking good and acting cool… this strange world of boyfriends and… no boyfriends.’ And suddenly you’re supposed to deal with everything on your own. 

- Scripted by RESTART

This strange world, I believe it is because I am standing on this ground. Now that RESTART is over. I truly believe in the midst of this humbling process, I had learnt how to lead and made decisions. I had learnt what it means to give my all in the midst of my busy schedules. Learning the prioritize my time and handling the needs of my members and my life. 

Sometimes it isn't about standing at the front line; or being the one scripting the script; directing the music, or performing to the audience (though I secretly love to because its always my dream, haha :') Sometimes,  the applaud, the approval, the admiration and the blinking eyes from the audience, praising and telling you, " Good Job, and well done," are the source of energy moving ahead. Honestly, who doesn't want? 

I do, but He was a constant reminder this season.  I gave because He gave. It was at the lowest point of breaking, I then realized I stood at this strange world that not everyone cares.. 

There's more than you could ever know behind the scenes. Because behind the scenes, He was turning my ashes into beauty: my ashes: my past scenes and hurts, my wrong decisions, one's heart to be vulnerable and broken, my love. ALL these in front of my stage. Guilt and fears overwhelmed, what if one is unable to forgive my past, what if one despises my stories, what if that's the way I need to face my consequences ? My heartbeat rapidly dropped, sincerely praying that it won't be.   

Even though I've got the lines rehearsed, a picture only paints a thousand words. Sometimes I can't see anything. through the dark surrounding me. And at times I'm unsure about the ground

beneath my feet, if it's safe and sound. Here.

I wouldn't say I had truly overcome my stage because it seems intangible and afterall I want to picture it, seeing the beauty in His perfect timing and I would love to be transparent with one's heart. I will! 

But I am thankful for RESTART, because restarting with God is the most beautiful journey.

Will you too RESTART?