Omnipresent

Its been a week or so. Having to transit back from the mission field to my home country, Singapore, I felt deeply the fears and strain that emphasizes on my calling, future and etc... Catching up with different ones help me to realize how the world-competition is like. This worldly race that many are running drives me to a place where I am overwhelm and mad with myself. Felt as if literally -I am losing out if I am not pursuing a degree anytime sooner.  "Can I be in army?" haha! :') 
Finding a new job, praying for the next phase of life and adjusting to a new pace suddenly sounds harder than it was transiting into the unknown. 

Much assurance when I was in the mission field that God would take care of every detail of our needs. Seems like a comfort zone back there. I started to be curious: Would God still be as real to me back here, compared to Pontianak, Ampaning? Will I depend on Him so closely here as I do there, when every power and electricity cut, when rainy and stormy season approached every night (having to pray against the spiritual darkness), of course the big beetles and mosquito bites all around the room.  Will I still see eternal meaning and purpose back here behind every work and prayer, as much as I do here? 

I believe its a process that I am discovering God's goodness in my life- not just in Pontianak/Ampaning. The training back there will always be a stepping stone here in S'pore- just a different setting.

 "I am learning- He isn’t any more wondrous here in the mission field than He is there, where you are. The eternal value, meaning and purpose of our work to Him does not change with our geographical location. For wherever we are with a believing heart, is where God is." 

This season, I still want to believe that He works all things beautifully, in His time. and everything work for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28, Ecc 1) Consistent and persistent prayer ; at the same time hearing from Him and depending on His promises he has for me.