Love's Design

Heart filled with gratitude, thankful for the process

I had never regret walking this path- at the end of the day it was the process that bought much beauty 

reminiscence- enjoyable and memorable recollection of every story to tell. 

If ever, there's an explanation to made I would want to sincerely apologize. Or rather truly I am grateful and thankful for this part of journey in my life. Each time I ponder back, viewing every exchange of dialogues, I discovered surprises, couldn't believe that each and every word; venues; time; and dates were recorded in my remembrance- a little part of my tiny brain. 

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Entering into another season of my life, close to graduating, close to stepping into adulthood. Honestly, Aveline is feeling fearful and excited at the same time. Just a glimpse of my 3 years, 1095 days  in Ngeeann and it's soon over. 

The 4 months of internship next week is a beginning- a story to tell, to prepare me for something more (Compassion, resillience, hopeful, etc) 

People and relatives are asking- the common questions. What are you planning to do when you graduated? Do you have a boyfriend? Working? Studying-Overseas? Local? What you look into a guy's characteristics and etc. 

Hmm...

The full of confidence Aveline used to answer with pride that I m gonna do this.. I m gonna do that. I would want to study in this particular course- with passion. But reality hits- financially, directions, passion, family, future. 

This time round, I would admit that my tongue lost of words or describe what exactly my plans were. Couldn't answer to non-believers 'Oh, I am praying for God's will to be done' Yes, I would do that- An opportunity  to share Christ with them :)  haha but yeah coming back to the same questions... 

My answer goes: 'Oh hmm,  a career related to nursing probably,  with children, programme executive.. I definitely want to study and etc...Politely answer oh nope I don't have a BF and the list went on...'

Than, more questions will pop up. 

Feelings still went like a wire tangled up. Mixed and stirred. It is a process I believe I have to journey through- Transition. It is a season of trust simultaneously while praying with faiYes, I am panicking on the inside. However, allowing God to write my story brings me comfort and assurance. Though he writes straight with crooked lines, but He takes the mess we make in my life, turning out groan into perfect rhyme. Nothing I would asked for, but entrust my life in His Love's design.

Somehow, He made me whole again.